In these first days of the new school year, despite your skills, your abilities, and your successes as director, there will be problems. I like to call them situations. Situations that you will have to figure out, along with the decisions you will have to make, and the actions you will have to take. I used two strategies that worked!
Here is the first:
The key to solving problems is listening. It is the more important skill in effective communication. The fact that we have two ears but one mouth should give us a clue as to the importance of listening. Another clue is that the words “listen” and “silent” have the same letters. Hmm …
Seek first to understand, and then, to be understood.
Listen first, then speak.
To become an effective listener, you must be fully present and focused only on listening to the other person. This is more difficult than it sounds. You must be silent while the other person speaks. This active listening works well. It lessens tension between the people engaged; it reduces mistakes and misunderstandings; and it does lead to problem solving. You are simply listening. You are listening to obtain information, to understand, and to learn.
So, listen fully—without interruption. Listen and wait for the other person to finish speaking. Then, ask relevant and clarifying questions, and listen once more. Listen for the main ideas. Don’t get lost in details and distractions and drama. Listen in order to understand the other person’s understanding, to hear questions, to provide guidance, and to move the process forward.
And, when you do speak, a warm supportive tone can set the stage for another formal or informal conversation. Choose your words carefully. Those who have expressed a concern, and feel they have been heard and understood will also be assured that you care.
And that is the ultimate message, isn’t it?
In October’s post, I’ll share my second strategy in problem solving—anticipate, hesitate, communicate, evaluate. I used this for 40 years with great success.
For more tips, techniques, and how-tos that worked for me, take a look at Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, at amazon.com books.
