Marcia Hebert's Blog

In my book, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, one chapter is devoted to building a community throughout our early childhood program. The children, their parents, and our teachers are that community. And they have been likened to a three-legged stool. If all three legs are balanced—if the children, parents, and teachers trust and respect one another, work effectively together, and create, together, rich experiences and a best-practice early childhood program—then, that three-legged stool stands solidly. If anything gets in the way of building this community, however, the stool topples.

If anything is to go awry, it is usually the relationship between parents and teachers. So, how do we cultivate a climate in our programs, from the beginning, where parents feel welcome and relevant in our child care centers.

It begins with written beliefs about parents. From our programs’ core beliefs:

We believe that parents should: 

• feel welcome arriving, visiting, and observing;
• have confidence and trust in our program;
• be informed about the program and their child’s daily experiences;
• know that our program provides a safe and secure environment for their child;
• know that their child receives personal, individualized care;
• know that their child fits in and is liked by staff and children;
• know that their child is cared for in an environment absent of bias;
• be respected;
• have a sense of control over their child’s future;
• feel free to ask questions of staff;
• have their values and beliefs sought out and respected;
• know that the program is sensitive to their concerns;
• have an opportunity to contribute;
• know that matters involving the welfare of their child are treated confidentially;
• feel good about themselves as parents;
• take pride in their children;
• have a sense of themselves as educators; and
• have their expert knowledge of their own child respected.

For parents, it is our child care center’s responsibility to:

• provide daily information to parents;
• encourage parents’ questions and opinions;
• seek out parental desires and concerns;
• promote a full partnership between parents and staff;
• invite parent input into the programs; and
• keep matters relating to child and family confidential.

The relationship begins and ends with this set of core beliefs. This is how we will work with parents, and this is how parents expect us to be. They have come to us having read our mission statement about young children. They have come to us having read our vision, and this set of core beliefs. This is what they expect to see, hear, and feel. Our job is to put these words on paper into action – and position that three-legged stool firmly in place.

For more on this topic, take a closer look at Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, available on Amazon.com.

The partnership between the parent and teacher cannot be underestimated. When it is built on mutual trust and respect, everything else falls into place—everything!

This poem, by Ray Lingenfelter, says it all:

Unity

I dreamed I stood in a studio
and watched two sculptors there.
The clay they used was a young child’s mind
and they fashioned it with care.

One was a teacher.
The tools she used were books and music and art;
One was a parent
with a guiding hand and a gentle, loving heart.

And when at last their work was done,
they were proud of what they had wrought;
for the things they had worked into the child
could never be sold or bought.

And each agreed she would have failed
If she had worked alone;
for behind the parent stood the school,
and behind the teacher stood the home.

In Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, available at Amazon.com, I offer very specific ways to work effectively and successfully with parents. What l learned during my long career in early childhood career as teacher, director, teacher of teachers, and consultant, I pass on to you. In this life, we don’t go it alone. When we learn how to connect with one another and appreciate what others bring into our lives (and into the lives of our children), how rich it all becomes!

To continue the conversation from the previous post about giving feedback, I want to talk a bit about receiving feedback—from the parents in our programs. 

Parent education and parent involvement are important components in our early childhood centers. But underlying the success of both is the crucial process of building trust.

One way to build this trust is for parents to receive the information they need to be involved partners, that is, information about your school’s philosophy, your policies, and what to do if and when; the routines, schedules, and limits in the classroom; newsletters from the classroom, communications from the director—all of this in print. During parent meetings and parent-teacher conferences, the give-and-take of conversation about the children begins and continues to build the home-school relationship. 

And then, at the end of each school year, we ask our parents to complete a parent evaluation based on their family’s experience at our childcare center. These evaluations are anonymous—we only know whether the child is in our infant, toddler, or preschool/kindergarten wing.

In our evaluation, we write statements about the Early Childhood Program for the Children, The Overall Atmosphere of the Organization, Communication, Policies and Services, and the Children’s Environments. Parents can check Agree, Disagree, or Do Not Know. Here’s an example from Communication:

• The communication systems keep me well informed each day.
• I know who to go to with my concerns.
• I feel confident that my concerns will be addressed respectfully and promptly.
• Daily conversations and parent/teacher exchanges sufficiently inform me of my child’s progress.
• I read the messages, articles, and information sent home and posted for parents.
• Parent meetings, brown bag lunches, and emails keep me informed and help me feel more comfortable in the program.
• I am comfortable recommending the center to co-workers.

And then, we add a few open-ended questions:

• The program could better meet my needs if …
• A recent incident that made me feel good about the program was …
• A recent incident that made me unhappy about the program was …
• I wish (the director, assistant director, nurse, teachers) would …
• Suggestions I have to improve the center or its services …
• Please write other comments, concerns, questions here …

And did we receive feedback!! Both good and bad. Thankfully, the positive tipped the scales and far outweighed the negative feedback. But still, it was sometimes difficult to read about the center through another’s perception and experience. I read every comment and took every comment to heart. The second read-through was always easier because now I was reading to understand (the initial gut-reaction had passed). I shared all positive comments with my staff. And where it made sense, though negative and difficult to hear, I passed on those comments that were made by several parents. Upon reflection, I agreed with the parents. And these real concerns became goals that we would set, work on, and accomplish. We communicated that to our parents.

Parents added an important voice to our children’s center. I found the annual parent evaluation of our program to be the feedback we needed to hear. And it was important to not only hear from parents, but to act and respond to the concerns unearthed. We made changes and improvements where we could. But we also shared with parents some of our constraints (as in regulations and health policy) when we could not act upon their requests. Knowing what they were thinking was valuable, and including them in our total feedback cycle was a plus for our program.

I’m happy to share more information about our parent evaluations. Just email me if you have other questions.

In my new book, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center, Chapter 5, Adding the Parents is filled with strategies, information, and real-life examples to help us work effectively with parents. I have included a lot of detail, so you can use these strategies “tomorrow.”

It’s so important to keep our three-legged stool on an even keel. Working with teachers, children, and their parents is a juggling act at times, but when people can react to what they are experiencing, and it is heard, positive things can result because of receiving the feedback—and, it is a win-win for everyone in the organization. The end result—trust.

One of the successes of our program was how well we delivered on our promises to the parents.

Check out, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, at Amazon.com.These are my real-life examples, time-tested tips and techniques, and all of them worked successfully in my four child care centers. I am pleased to share what I have learned! Take what resonates with you and then, one day, pass on what you learn to the next generation of early childhood colleagues. My best to you!

If you are the director or supervisor of an early childhood center, school, program, or organization, undoubtedly you have had to address performance issues within your team. This is one of the most stressful parts of the job, and I hope what I’ve learned will be helpful to you.

After the job expectations for your organization have been set and communicated in several ways to the entire team, the rest becomes a pattern of supervision. And this supervision is critical to your organization’s performance.

Everyone needs to know that someone (the director or supervisor) is observing their performance and will offer feedback in a timely way. This observation-feedback cycle is simply a part of staff development. To be effective, it must happen frequently. This a how a professional relationship grows and deepens—and how you motivate your teams to bring their best to work each day.

Feedback then—constructive feedback—is information-specific; issue-focused; and based on observation—your own observations.

Here are some guidelines:

Content is what you say: In your first sentence, identify the topic or issue that the feedback will be about. Then, provide the specifics that occurred. “I have noticed …” “I observed …” helps to focus the issue and gets right into the specifics.

Manner is how you say it: How you deliver the feedback sometimes carries more weight than what you say. Tones of anger, frustration, or sarcasm tend to color the language of the message, and turn negative feedback into criticism. The content gets lost. The flip side of this is also true. Apologizing, uncertainty on your end, an indirect approach and, worst of all, hugging or touching if the person becomes emotional all create contradiction and mixed messages—and cause the content to be lost. People leave the meeting not knowing where you, or they, stand—and the process fails.

When providing feedback, ask your teachers if they understand everything you expect. You can then get into specifics and clarify if needed. Bottom line is that a comfortable give-and-take conversation should take place. Most importantly, tell your people that yes, they will be evaluated, but you are there to help them succeed. Not do their work for them, but help them do their own work well. Be sincere. Sincerity says that you mean what you say with care and respect. You can be kind, sincere, caring—and direct—all at the same time.

Timing: When do you give feedback for a performance worth acknowledging? Positive feedback? ASAP—as soon as possible! In real time; as close to when the incident occurs, so that the event and details are fresh in both minds. Giving negative feedback can have a different timeline. ASAR—as soon as reasonable/ready! Sometimes, emotions need to settle down, and you need to get your thoughts in order so that your manner displays a tone of concern as well as support. Tomorrow, rather than right now, is often appropriate. 

Frequency: How often should your staff (teachers and supervisors) receive feedback on their performance? This is really important! It makes all of the other guidelines work. Please don’t acknowledge performance only once or twice a year. People want to know how they are doing—along the way. Giving feedback more frequently allows you and your team to get things back on track before they have de-railed. As well, giving feedback more frequently sets a professional pattern in motion that both teachers and you begin to look forward to. The conversations are helpful, and simply part of your professional growth.

Keep notes on the feedback you give. They help you track the direction of performance—whether there is improvement, or not. And you quickly see what you, as supervisor, must do next. Most often, performance improves. If not, it is time to raise the stakes with a verbal warning, then a written warning, then probation, and finally, if no improvement, termination. These are difficult steps to take, but sometimes they are the necessary steps to take. Perhaps another blog post…

In my book, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center, I share the specific and very detailed job expectations and competencies for teacher performance—as well as when, how, and why you introduce them to your teachers,—because these expectations are the basis for everything we do. Having clearly written expectations for everyone on my teams worked well throughout my career. Take a look at them. And, if they resonate with you, use them! I am pleased to share.

Check out, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, at Amazon.com.

If you are the Director of an Early Childhood Program, much of your work centers around finding and hiring your team—and then working together effectively. Building and growing your team will take time. But, if you know some of the indicators of success, you can look for these traits in the people you interview. 

One of these indicators is having a high degree of Emotional Intelligence (or EI).

EI is the ability to recognize our own emotions, understand what they’re telling us, and realize how our emotions affect the people around us. EI also involves our perception of others. When we’re able to sense and understand the emotional needs of other people, we are better able to build strong working relationships and manage difficult situations more effectively. For the director of a childcare center, having emotional intelligence is essential. And having a high degree of EI, even better!

You probably know people who are masters at managing their emotions. They don’t get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they have the ability to look at a problem and calmly find a solution. They’re excellent decision makers, and they know when to trust their intuition. Regardless of their strengths, however, they’re usually willing to look at themselves honestly. They take criticism well, and they know when to use it to improve their performance. These people have a high degree of emotional intelligence!

There are five elements that define EI:

• Self-Awareness—People with high EI are conscious of their own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
• Self-Regulation—This is the ability to control emotions and impulses. People with high EI think before they act.
• Motivation—People with a high degree of EI are usually motivated.
• Empathy—This is the ability to identify and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around us.
• Social Skills—It’s usually easy to talk to, and like people with good social skills, another indicator of high EI.

The good news is that Emotional Intelligence can be learned and developed! A worthy goal for every director or aspiring director.

Here are some EI strategies to get you thinking:

• Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgement before you know all of the facts? Do you stereotype? Look honestly at how you think and interact with people. Try to put yourself in their place—and be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.
• Look at your work environment. Do you seek attention for your accomplishments? Try practicing humility. It can be a wonderful quality. You know what you did, and did well, and you can be quietly confident about it. Give others a chance to shine—put the focus on them, and don’t worry too much about getting praise for yourself.
• Examine how you react to stressful situations. Do you become upset every time there’s a delay or something doesn’t happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them—even when it’s not their fault? The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult situations is highly valued. Keep your emotions under control when things go wrong.
• Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize directly—don’t ignore or avoid the person. People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest attempt to make things right.
• Examine how your actions will affect others—before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the action, how can you help others deal with the effects?

In my new book, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center, I devoted two chapters to “Building your Team.”  There is so much you need to know, and it is all important! I included many strategies that I used as director while interviewing, hiring, orienting, and training each new person on my team. And I included those specific traits, characteristics, and behaviors that would build a solid, professional team. Emotional Intelligence is just one of many. These are my real-life examples, time-tested tips and techniques, and all of them worked successfully in my four child care centers. I am pleased to share what I have learned! Take what resonates with you and then, one day, pass on what you learned to the next generation of early childhood colleagues.

“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.”
——Jack Welch

Check out, Beginning to End: The Life Cycle of a Child Care Center—A Director’s Story, at Amazon.com.